March 23, 2005
Teaching
Now is the time of the school year where teachers are signing their contracts for next year and administrators are figuring out class schedules. I had asked my assistant principal if there would be a part-time position available next year. Today I found out the answer is...no. The classes didn't shake out that way.
"Believe me, if there is a part time position, you are the first one on my list," she said in her e-mail. Then later she e-mailed me again. "Have you completely erased the idea of coming back full time if that opportunity would appear?"
My first thought was "NO."
Then it was "YES."
Followed by "SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, PLEASE, AND I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT."
My mom stayed home with us...she didn't really have a choice. She had about 3,000 kids. But I liked knowing that she was at home while I was at school. When I was in grade school, she took a part-time job from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and I didn't like that at ALL. I also dropped out of pre-school because I missed her so much, if that tells you anything about my attachment issues.
I had always envisioned staying home with Quinn while she is in school. But going back to work in September really changed my life for the better. I like using my brain, I like getting out of the house every day by myself, I like getting paid.
Right now I have it really good. I'm done teaching by 10:15 every morning and I either go pick Quinn up at school or at my mom's house. Next year she's registered for school five mornings a week. Where will she go until 3:30 if I work? We--all three of us--love Quinn's Montessori school. Pulling her out and putting her in daycare is not an option.
Her school does have a longer class for kids her age, one that goes until 3:30, but that's not what she's registered for. And registration is closed. And even if it weren't, I don't have a job next year, just a possibility.
I know I want to go back to work eventually, and I know I want it to be at this school. Being away for a few years and working other jobs in the mean time has made me realize that you don't always love everything about what you do. And nothing makes me happier than teaching, especially at this school where I'm so happy. My assistant principal who I've been talking about all of this with is the best boss I've ever had. She could tell me that I suck and that I'm an embarrassment and I'd wag my tail. She's that wonderful.
So what if I don't take this question seriously and I have to leave this school and I never get back in? Or what if I go back to school too soon and it's hard on Quinn and it's hard on me and I could have just waited a few years and gone back then?
YES.
NO.
SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, PLEASE, AND I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT.
Posted by Amy at March 23, 2005 08:54 PM
I've been following your page for some time now, I get the sense that you really enjoy teaching. Quinn is older, and pretty soon she'll be in school full time. Maybe it's time to try out full time yourself. Go for it girl, if it doesn't work, at least you tried!!!
I think you should try teaching for a year and then evaluate the situation. Don't think long term...like a life sentence. Keep it simple. Quinn loves her school. You love your job. Andy is okay. The schedule is something the family can live with. Why not do it? If something happens and there isn't a full-time position open or something happens with Quinn's school then take that as a sign you need to stay home. Sit back and relax and let the chips fall where they may. That's just my $0.02. :-)
unfortunately i have no words of advice for this one... and honestly, i don't know what i will do when i get to that situation
i think i agree with letting the chips fall and see what happens
I read your site all the time but rarely post, so here goes:
Wow, tough decision. I say (with no kids and having never been in the position to make a decision like this for myself so take my thoughts for what they're worth)that maybe you should say "yes" that you're open to coming back full time. All that means is that you'll consider it - which you're already doing, so why not at least let the VP know you're thinking about it in case a f/t position becomes available? Then you can make the decision about whether or not you really want to go back f/t and who would take care of Quinn until 3:30 if you do. Maybe now would be a good time to feel out the issue with your mom or another family member to see if they would be able to watch Quinn until you get home from work. One thing you should definitely consider is that with a full class load your "homework" will probably be more time consuming than it is now that you're only teaching part-time. Just something to think about since it will cut into your free time.
I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be the right decision for you and your family. Of course, if a f/t position doesn't become available and you decide to stay home and write a book - I'll buy a copy...especially if it has sidewalk sales stories. Those are hysterical.
Good luck with your decision.
Oh, COME ON Amy!!! You have found the place where you belong, you lucky duck. There are such good people at that school (tell them I say 'hi') and you are indeed an amazing teacher, without whom, I would have probably jumped out the window of 504 my first year there. You can absolutely, positively do both and be satisfied. Both Quinn and the chickens deserve you, so you have to do both. Have to. You can totally do it!!
There you have it. It'll work out.
I absolutely think you should give it a shot, my lovely friend.
Amy - Everything you say about this situation is positive. How many times we all have wished our situations were like that? Tell your VP you will consider full time, talk to the Montessori about the possibility (or waiting list) to switch Quinn to the longer program in the event you do get a full-time position. Also check with Mom or Others to pinch hit for a year if Montessori does not pan out. Grab the brass ring, the kind of job satisfaction you are having is far too rare. The kids benefit so greatly as well from the teacher's happiness. I think this is good all around. The pieces will land in the right places if this is meant for the Lester family. Best wishes!
Andy and I never had a stay-at-home parent, not even at Quinn's age. I think we turned out OK (I mean, at least generally speaking). Granted, we had a relatively unique situation for a while that Mom worked in the building we went to school at, but that was certainly not the bulk of our experience. I don't think I EVER thought "boy, I wish mom didn't work" or "gee, how come mom isn't home when I get home from school?" That was our situation, and that's the way it was. There were no other options. I would think Quinn, once she was at an age to even think of such things, would feel the same way: "Dad works. Mom works. So what?"
You have a relatively uncommon situation at hand, however - you the luxury of being able to choose whether you want to work or not. You guys can live off of one income, and your work is simply for your enjoyment (and cash!). With that said, if I didn't have to work to pay the mortgage, I think it would be difficult for me to decide to work fulltime. But then again you love your job (and I do much of mine from home anyway).
It seems to me that your biggest issue is liking (and having become accustomed to) the LIFESTYLE of working part-time and being home with Quinn to play and hang out and do stuff with friends and nap and have play-dates, etc. (which I can certainly understand - that's what's nice about my current schedule). But I don't know that any of those things Quinn couldn't live without (or would even necessarily miss). The question is, can YOU?
Are all those things with Quinn better than working and getting paid and doing what you love (and went to college and worked so hard for)? I don't think any of us can decide that....
Do you think Quinn will be upset by having to spend all day at Montessorri? Or spending half the day there, and half at... I dunno... KinderCare or a local babysitter or something like that? She seems to like school and the interaction with other kids. I'd think that she would enjoy it, and wouldn't necessarily know or miss that you pick her up several hours later. But I obviously don't see her every day to know her reactions.
AND - if you get pregnant, or have a baby some time in the next year or so, wouldn't that change all your decisions anyway? With all these unknowns, it seems that you shouldn't limit your options.
Besides, like someone else already mentioned, the VP asked if you would CONSIDER the option - you aren't committing to a job right now. Seems silly not to at least respond that you're open to the option, even if you end up turning it down at a later date if they DO offer you something.
Anyway, there's my two cents.
Amy... All I know is, well, I'd be a very different, very unhappy person if you hadn't been my teacher.
I can only hope others get the benefit of your teaching, and your friendship. If that requires working full time, think about it! Do it!
For the sake of the children, Amy, DO IT! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
...I mean, I love you. Take care of you.
Wow!! Im going to be the wild opposite here.You know I love you like a sister and want whats best for your heart. If teaching is going to make you the best person you are then do it, but if you really want me to tell you what to do Im going to tell you to stay home with Quinn. She is only little once. She will be in school before you know it. Enjoy the time you can with her now, enjoy the time with your mom without all the juggling and worrying.
There I told you what to do*lol* Now YOU DO what your heart tells you, and what you really want to. I will love and support you no matter what!!
I think you should stay home with your sweet baby. She will only be little for a very short time.
I homeschooled my children all the way through school and now they're all grown up. Even being with my kids all the time, I feel like they grew up when I wasn't looking. It didn't seem like time was passing quickly when they were little, but now I'm still wondering how it all happened so fast. Even though we're very close, I miss the tender moments of their childhood.
You sound like a gifted teacher and teaching is something you love to do. I think working part time would be great if Quinn was in school.
I think Quinn should come first and if you can fit teaching in around her, then great.
You are going to blink twice and Quinn is going to be asking you to help her pick out her prom dress. She will only grow up once, but there will always be classrooms full of students hoping for a wonderful teacher like you.
Amy,
I have been reading for quite a while and have never posted. Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents:
I have five kids and stayed home with the first three til they started kindergarten. My hubby opened his own law practice when the fourth was 4 and the fifth was 3. I know that I am much more fulfilled and confident as a working mom, even though it is so hard to do both. You are lucky that your profession coincides with school hours. Even working for my hubby, office hours and court deadlines dictate my schedule most days, because they don't care who my employer is. I was a rabid stay at home mom (even home-schooled my kids for a couple of years), and having been on both sides of the fence, have come to the conclusion doing both that you have to do what works for your family, period, whether you family bed it, breast feed, bottle feed, go back to work when the baby is 6 weeks or 6 years old, etc. My oldest is now 15 and my youngest 9, and I agree that life passes you by in an instant, but know from having read you for so long that an intelligent mind needs stimulation in order to not slip into the motherhood "blahs" from being home all the time. I suggest you try it. Life will bring its own changes, whether that be another baby, a job change you didn't count on and countless other things beyond your control. You are blessed to have family so involved in Quinn's and your life, and something can be worked out if you need it to be. Best of luck and BTW, love the name "Quinn"-- my youngest, as the last of five boys, has the middle name Quinn (Hayden Quinn) as a tribute to his birth order. Lots of fun things to do with the name Quinny-quinn. Take care, and best of luck.
I have a young friend who works for a couple of the big hospitals - you know all those kids who go in for chemo or other long-term situations? THey need teachers. I hear the benefits are great and I'm thinking the hours might be a little more flexible for you. Worth a try. Check the hospital online job listings, BUT I'm also told that they're notorious for not advertising all their job opportunities - visit the personnel depts. and leave your resume' - it just might be what you're looking for!
Hugs, Patty
