Let me tell you about the Lion King. It was, as the reviews would indicate, incredible. It was one of the most creative and inspired pieces of theater I've ever seen, and it was perfect for a child's introduction to Broadway. The puppets were magnificent, the staging was innovative, and the costumes were brilliant.

But you know what? Ultimately, it was like a prom dress on a pig. No matter what you do, underneath all the smoke and mirrors, it's still Hakuna Fucking Matata.

Oh, how I love reading Terry.