October 8, 1999

Andy needed new shoes. For most people this might not be such a momentous occasion, but Andy only buys shoes when his old ones are positively falling apart. Oh, and he only keeps one active pair of shoes. One. The Black Gym Shoe. TBGS for casual, for dress, for summer and winter. He has a couple of other pairs, but I put them way up on a closet shelf when we moved into our house and I don't think they've been touched since. So when it turned out that it was time to fetch a new pair of Black Gym Shoes, I let him lead us to a sea of strip malls. We don't shop for TBGS often enough to have a usual point of purchase. All About Shoes, Andy's first (and curious) choice was closed until 11:00 a.m. (reminiscent of our trip to the mall in Kentucky). We didn't want to wait around for an hour, so we tried Kohl's. They had a poor selection, so we left. With our resources dried up, we debated traveling 45 minutes to the nearest shopping mall, but decided not to as we both had work to do at home. Then we saw it: The Sports Authority. I don't think I need to remind faithful readers about our camping trip...before that day, The Sports Authority was just another obstacle between Schlotzky's Deli and Borders. But they probably carried Andy's BGS, so we ventured inside. The building was cavernous. Simulated mountainside displays housed threatening-looking hiking equipment. Large racks of small exercise outfits leered at me. Aisle after aisle offered more athletic shoes than I had seen in my entire life. Beyond the shoe department I could see sports equipment and outdoor wear and God knows what else. I didn't stray from the front of the store. I knew my place. Staff members strode past us purposefully; some were helping customers, some had important missions to carry out at varying points in the store. They all walked fast and hard. They wore shiny athletic shorts. They wore whistles. They eyed us, looking for size 12 Wides, warily. I pulled Andy close to me and whispered to him. "These are not our people." Wanna be notified when I update? Send mail and thou shalt receive!