13 August 1998
A typical summer day for me, the unemployed teacher:
6:50 a.m.--Andy's alarm goes off, alerting him that it's time to get up for work and time for me to get
up for "Facts of Life". He hits snooze and we recline for nine more minutes.
6:59--Once again the alarm sounds, but this time I bold upright, terrified that I might miss the show's opening theme. I lurch towards the living room and paw at the remote until the television comes to life.
7:01--I enjoy the opening song while blowing my nose and fluffing up my nest in the corner of the couch. Items within reach: both remotes (one for the channels, one for the volume), phone, kleenex, water, glasses.
7:02--The first Xena and Hercules commercials air.
7:05--Andy begins to whine and cry in the bedroom, having just realized that I've left the bed. He stumbles to the bathroom pausing only to look my way and mumble, "Naughty 'Facts of Life'..."
7:15--More Xena and Hercules commercials. What is with these shows? We also hear from The Money Store and, strangely enough, Fruit of the Loom.
7:30--Andy puts on his shoes and socks while watching the end of the first episode with me. I kiss him goodbye and prepare myself a delightful bowl of cereal.
7:35--The second "Facts of Life" begins. I feel antsy, but obliged to watch.
8:00--Sated from my marathon I have a decision to make...do I shower now?...or...after Oprah? I usually opt for the earlier shower, as I enjoy Oprah a great deal more than "Gimme a Break", which is on at 8.
You know, I just read this over. I can't possibly go on.
Oh, what you've read above is true, believe me--it's true, but it's making me kind of sick to realize what I've turned into. A tv-head.
A tv-head who is going to start substitute teaching in two weeks, thank God.