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July 26, 2000 Andy's dad and his wife are in town from Boise, so we've been all touristy with them as of late. Today Andy and I took the train downtown to meet said parents and his sister Cinda and her fiancé Henri. First we went to the Museum of Science and Industry to see the Titanic Exhibit. Then we went to a White Sox game. When all the frolicking was done we began hunting down a cab to get to the choo choo station. We finally found one about a block away from Comiskey Park. Since there were four of us (Dad and Gail headed for Ohio in their car), I sat in front with the Scariest Cabbie in the World. I was so tired and sunstroked after being outside all afternoon that I just wanted to get home and take off my damn shoes. I am not all about the small-talk to begin with, but Rico Suave at the wheel was all about seducing me with his charm and working my very last nerve. "Were you there?" He asked me, nodding to an Illinois Institute of Technology building. "Um..." I looked in the back seat at Cinda and Henri and Andy, all in baseball hats, sunburned cheeks, touristy as can be. "No. We were at the Sox game." Then I looked straight ahead and dangled my arm out the window, glad to feel the wind blowing in my face and to be on my way home. I prayed for privacy. I longed to be in the back seat, where they couldn't hear Rico's smooth-talk. "Did they win?" He asked. "Nope." I continued to look straight ahead. "Are you disappointed?" He gave me a puppy-dog look. I looked at him blankly. "Is anyone back there disappointed?" he asked, nodding towards the back seat. "Oh yes," I said. "Very disappointed." Suddenly, Rico began to roll up the automatic window on my side of the car. I snatched my arm from the window ledge before the window was all the way up and my arm was hacked off and left to rot somewhere on Clark Street. When I looked at him all panicky, he just smiled warmly at me as he turned on the air conditioning and pointed all the vents my way. "I could see that you were warm and needed to be cooled." Ack! I returned my gaze to what was happening in front of the car, but soon wished I hadn't. We were flying--flying!--up Clark at upwards of 50 m.p.h. headed straight for...a stoplight. A red stoplight. Hello! Hello! HELLO, RICO SUAVE WITH THE FOOT O' LEAD! Just as I opened my mouth to scream, he jammed on the brakes and in that weird way that cabs have, we stopped suddenly with not much lurching. In fact, I don't think the back seat party even noticed. After my heart left my throat, Rico turned to me and winked. "Did I scare you?" I didn't even answer him. I just looked at him. His ego not fluffed, he turned to the passengers in back. "Did I scare her?" "Huh?" They gave him a blank look, the light turned green, and we were off again. The funnel cake and hot dog I had eaten at the park were angry with me, with Rico Suave, and with his cab, and they were taking it out on my stomach. I groped around in my purse until I found my Tums. Damn! Only one left! I peeled it off the foil and shoved it in my mouth, then felt a pair of eyes boring into me. Rico was watching me intently--still maintaining his breakneck speed. "Can I have one?" he whispered. I wondered who was worse in terms of cab drivers: a randy Rico Suave with a penchant for speed or the clownie who had driven Andy and me to the ballpark earlier in the day. The conversation between Andy and Clownie had gone like this: "Where do you want to go?" "35th and Shields." "Where?" "Comiskey Park." "Oh...I don't know the address of that place." "35th and Shields...that IS Comiskey Park." "Oh...I'm not sure how to get there. I can only get to the stadium." "Right. That's where we want to go. The baseball stadium. Comiskey Park." "Oh! Is that what it is? How do you get there?" "You're the cabbie. I don't know! Should we take another cab?" "No, this cab will get you there just fine. Now, we can go the long way or the short way." "Um, how about if we go the short way." "Yes, that's what I was going to suggest." So we headed off to Comiskey Park. I'm too tired to make the noises coming out of his cab funny, but the noises were there. And they were loud. And rumbly. And scary. "We are going to die," Andy told me. "Like dogs," I amended. Soon enough the baseball stadium loomed up ahead of us. "There's the stadium," the cab driver said. "Are we almost there?" "That's where we're GOING," Andy said. "To the stadium!" "Oh?" He sounded surprised and happy. "Well! We're here!" Wanna be notified when I update? Send mail to amy@parsley.org and thou shalt receive!