May 21st, 2000

I don't think I can make it another week. I quit my job as a teacher a few weeks back. I didn't do it to run away from the chickens who are pecking at my very last nerve--I have another reason that will be revealed later--but I am increasingly glad they will soon be out of my daily life. I am aghast at the way they speak to me sometimes. I am their teacher. I am an adult. I may have had some trouble when I was in high school with learning when to shut up and stop giggling with my friends, but I would never send this e-mail to a teacher after losing an assignment and being told I have to write a new one: so your teling my i just cant rewrite just a poem. this totally stinks. that is totally unfair. One boy, in the computer lab to complete a large assignment that is due tomorrow, was eating Cheetos. Then he was writing a note to his girlfriend. Then he finally went to work--for about three minutes until he was distracted by the girl next to him. Every time I corrected his behavior, he gave me impatient, patronizing sighs. "Fine...fine...I'll put away the note...don't have a cow!" ...or "Hey, Mrs. Lester...I'm just talking to her about the assignment...chill!" ...or the girl next to him would try to deflect my correction if she saw me coming at them... "Hey, Mrs. Lester...I like your outfit." Don't patronize your teachers. They know what you're doing. They see right through you. And you don't look so good. The next day--the next DAY--this same boy was writing a note again! "What are you doing?" "Writing." "A note?" "Yeah." "All right, why don't you head on down to the dean's office? Thanks." "WHY?" "Because I announced at the beginning of class that you had to be working or you would be sent to the dean's office." "I was working!" "On writing a note?" "Yes! That's work!" He finally took his books and left, but only after loudly announcing to the class that "THIS IS SO UNFAIR!" and slamming his chair against the desk when he pushed it in. I just remembered that I asked this same boy to stop writing a note a few weeks ago, and he looked up from it and said, "But...this is important." You know what? I don't think high schools are set up so very great. It's hard to get going on a topic in 50 minute (or, if you teach at my school, 40 minute) classes. Once you finally get going on something, it's time to pack up and leave. All that transitioning every hour gets the kids riled up and antsy. I don't blame them for feeling like they don't have any time to themselves to just think during the day. I understand that all that disruption makes it hard to concentrate on academic subjects. But to yell? Whether in person, behind his or her back, or through e-mail? At a teacher? When YOU do something wrong? One student told me that someone in my class says he wants to kill me. He says it almost every day, I'm told, when he walks out of my classroom after spending an apparently tortuous hour with me. One girl was busted for cheating--word for word cheating. Cheating so blatant that it is laughable that she's trying to defend herself. When she found out she got a 0 she sent me the following: Why did you not give me credit for doing chapter 12? I did the work by myself and I did most of it while we were in the computer lab. Who is it that you think I copied off of? Maybe if you could explain this to me I might understand why you think I copied. Could you please e mail me back because I really would like to know what is going on in this situation. Thank You. Instead of getting defensive when you obviously cheated, how about this? Mrs. Lester, I'm sorry I cheated. I was stressed out and didn't know what else to do. It was temporary insanity. I'd like to do the assignment again, even if you won't give me credit. Or, if it wasn't her that cheated... Mrs. Lester, I'm sorry I let Susie borrow my assignment. She asked me for it and I didn't know how to say no, so I didn't. I am sorry I showed such bad judgment. I understand your decision to give me a 0. What this all boils down to is respect. Respect yourself. Take responsibility if you make a mistake. Lose your poem? Write another one and leave your teacher alone. Get caught writing notes? Take the punishment like a man, not like a baby who has to prove his point by making sure everyone in the room knows he's getting kicked out by Mrs. Lester the Terrible. Get caught cheating? Don't make a scene. Stop bitching about the teacher. She finds out about it. Other students are only too happy to pass the news on that Student X is pissed at you. Complaining behind someone's back only makes you look worse, more guilty. Respect me. Believe it or not, I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing. I try hard to be consistent, to treat everyone the same, to be fair. Assume I am doing what's right. I don't let my personal feelings for you get in the way of how I grade your papers. I would give my favorite student in the world a 0 if they copied someone else's work. I want every one of you to learn, to think, to succeed. Why are you fighting me? Wanna be notified when I update? Send mail and thou shalt receive!